Is it wrong to be attracted to other people with no intention on cheating: neither physically nor emotionally?
My husband is overweight. I’ve tried to get him in a gym but he says it’s embarrassing to workout in front of others. I also tried to get him to eat healthier by having healthier foods at home but he eats for three. For example, he wanted to have a pizza night so I went to the grocery store and got one that had the least calories/stout. He ate the entire thing (8 small slices) by himself.
Up until now I have wanted him to lose weight for health reasons not for appearance. But recently I have been noticing other men. I notice their legs, arms, the way they look in business suits or business casual. I take notice of how fit they are. I reckon to myself how I would like if my husband would look that way. I have no desire to cheat because I’m not like that and now I feel so guilty even checking out the physique of other men. I’m not sexually deprived because we still have sex and it’s still excellent so I really don’t know why I’m looking. Is this incorrect of me? Am I a terrible person?
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Tags: appearance, attracted, business suits, calories, cheating, desire, emotionally, grocery store, health reasons, healthier foods, intention, legs, neither, people, physically, physique, pizza night, terrible person, workout, wrong
No your not doing anything incorrect, it’s normal to look at others and even admire them. Everyone does it, and anyone who says they don’t do this is lying period.
no you’re not a terrible person….the way you say it sounds like you would like this for your husband cause you look for ways to be attracted to him.
just keep loving him….and feed him fruit and veggies.
No, I reckon the main thing is intent. It’s ok to look at a BMW even though you’re not going to buy one, You can even admire it, Intent is a huge thing. Once your mind changes intentions, that’s where the distress starts. Excellent Luck
The minute we stop looking we are dead.
We have a rule at our house: Look all you want and keep your hands in your pockets.
Well my husband and I joke around all the time when we see a hot guy walking by or a girl with you know, “fantastic stuff” as my husband likes to place it, but we would never cheat on each other and I don’t find anything incorrect with that. Why don’t you try the nutri system with him. It’s costly but supposedly you get a whole meal that is really really low calorie…as long as he isn’t eating what he normally eats, he’ll lose weight…
not at all its ok it happens to everyone and if your husbands says he has a problem with it then the knows very damn well he does the samething.
You’re in that haze of looking and longing for what you wish you had. Heck everyone does that in some form, be it a new car, a huge house, your neighbors swimming pool etc..
Can I suggest buying a treadmill or some exercise equipment for your home? A lot of people who are heavy don’t feel comfortable working out in front of others at the gym, and anyhow having the equip. at home saves time from having to drive back and forth from the gym or having to ‘fit it into’ the day….It’s there, so he can just do it whenever,
You are not a terrible person at all..The amusing thing is that I am in your shoes but my Husband is too skinny. He is 6 foot and weight 145lbs. I look at all the muscler men at the beach and I look at all those military guys and reckon “I wish my man could be like that”. Well my husband is not but I like him regardless. My husband is till attractive and we still have fantastic sex too.
Like you I would never ever cheat..You also need to realize that our husbands will probably see alot of J LO’s or Miss americas walking around and wish we could be like that..
Just accept you husband the way he is and leave it at that…
But if he weighs too much that it could affect his health that is when you should start raising concern…
It’s normal for people to have attraction to others even if your married. It doesn’t mean you will act on it or anything else . You are married, not dead, so don’t feel guilty to be attracted to someone other than your husband.
You are not a horrible person, it’s only natural to look regardless of whether you are pleased at home or not. We’re all human! But, the fact that you are obviously losing interest in your husband physically does make it more likely that you may cheat if not now, sometime,regardless of intention. No matter how honorable you are, again, you’re still human and you can’t go on being miserable about this forever because it will eventually taint your whole relationship. It’s very clear that you feel a fantastic deal of frustration and resentment. Honesty is best, you need to tell him how you feel. It’s better to hurt someone with the truth than disrespect him with a lie. Maybe if he knew how you feel he would take better care of himself?
Welcome to our world… The Man’s world. It is in our nature to notice women. We can’t help it. We just look. Even though we like our spouse and despise the fact that we are deriving pleasure from checking out another person we keep on doing it anyway. We don’t let it bother us as much as it is bothering you because it is so constant from day one. We kind of take it for granted.
Would it be better if I didn’t notice other women? Yup! Will that ever happen? Nope. So just do what we do. Cut yourself some slack and make dam* sure you never let yourself get close to another guy and, at least, do your best to catch yourself having these thoughts and make a conscious effort to stop them when they come(don’t linger and embellish).
Hang in there…
No – you are human, and I feel the same way. My hubs is large too and won’t do a thing about it.
You’re not blind. You appreciate beauty when you see it.
It would be incorrect if you didn’t look at other men… It’s ok to windowshop, as long as you know what you can and can’t afford. Everyone looks. It doesn’t seem like you married your husband for his girlish figure – I’m sure you know why you married him, and this hasn’t changed.
No go on if he does not take care of himself he sure will not take care of you.
You are not a terrible person and it is normal. I look at people all the time. Try to get him moving. Can you walk where you live? Buy a tread mill so he can walk in front of the TV.
your not terrible, ur human. just keep trying to help ur husband out with his health but don’t over do it. as long as everything else is excellent at home, hopefully he come to his senses and start to take care of himself better.